I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
