I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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