dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
