I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
