i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
