all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
