On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
