I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
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This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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