ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
