Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
