Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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