Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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