if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize