hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
