oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize