I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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