she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize