and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
