Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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