He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
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I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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