New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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