but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
