So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
