He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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