I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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