No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
