honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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