do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
