4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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