My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize