I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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