Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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