Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
