hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
