you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
