Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
