I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
