He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
