I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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