i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
