Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
