i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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