My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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