GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
