Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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