problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize