I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
