I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
