Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
