Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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