She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
