I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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