Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
