Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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