Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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