is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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