At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize