Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
