I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
