It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
